Welcome August: Reflections, Blessings and the Energy of the 8/8 Portal

Hello Beautiful Souls,

As I sit here reflecting on the month of July, I find myself thinking about how quickly time seems to be moving and how much can shift within us in such a short space of time. July felt like a month of contrast. There were moments of lightness, connection and gratitude, but there were also moments that asked us to slow down, look within and become honest about what we have been carrying.

For me, the end of a month has never felt like simply turning a page on the calendar. It feels like a quiet invitation to pause, breathe and notice what changed—to acknowledge what hurt, what healed and what we may still be trying to understand. Sometimes we are so focused on moving forward that we forget to honour how far we have already come. We forget the moments when we chose peace instead of reacting, when we rested instead of pushing, or when we finally admitted that something no longer felt right for us. Those moments matter too.

What July May Have Been Teaching Us

Over the last little while, I have felt that many of us have been moving through a period of clearing and reflection. Old emotions, memories and patterns may have found their way back to the surface—not because we are moving backwards, but because we are finally ready to see them differently. I have come to understand that healing has layers. We can believe we have released something, only for it to return in another form and ask for a little more compassion, honesty or understanding. That does not mean we have failed. It means we are human.

Perhaps July showed you where you have been giving too much of yourself. Perhaps it brought awareness to a boundary that needs strengthening or a relationship that needs more honest communication. Maybe it reminded you that rest is not something we have to earn. Or perhaps July was gentler for you and brought small moments of joy, unexpected conversations, creative inspiration or a renewed connection with yourself.

Every journey is different. There is no right way to move through a season, and there is no timeline for healing or growth. As July comes to a close, you may want to ask yourself: What did this month reveal to me? What am I proud of myself for moving through? What have I been carrying that I am ready to put down? What lesson do I want to bring with me into August? You do not have to force the answers. Simply create the space and listen. Your heart has a way of showing you what you are ready to know.

Moving Into August

There is something hopeful about the beginning of a new month. It gives us a natural moment to reset—not by pretending the past did not happen, but by choosing how we want to move forward with what it taught us. August carries the symbolism of ripening and harvest. In nature, so much of what was planted earlier in the year is now growing into its fullness, and I feel there is a gentle reminder in that for us as well.

Not everything we are nurturing is visible yet. Some of our deepest growth happens quietly, behind the scenes, beneath the surface and in the moments no one else sees. Just because something has not fully appeared in your life does not mean nothing is happening. You may still be building the strength, clarity or confidence needed to receive what you have been asking for.

At the same time, I believe August asks us to participate in our own becoming. We can pray for change, ask for guidance and set intentions, but we also have to be willing to listen when the next step is shown to us. Sometimes that step is action. Sometimes it is rest. Sometimes it is a conversation we have been avoiding, and sometimes it is simply trusting ourselves enough to say, “This no longer feels aligned with who I am becoming.”

Reflections on the 8/8 Portal

As we move further into August, many in the spiritual community will be preparing for the 8/8 Portal, often called the Lion’s Gate Portal. The number eight is commonly connected with abundance, balance, personal power and the continuous flow of energy. When turned on its side, it becomes the infinity symbol, reminding us of the cycles of life—the endings and beginnings, the releasing and receiving, and the lessons that seem to return until we understand them in a deeper way.

I do not believe we need to experience the 8/8 Portal in one particular way. For some, it may feel like a powerful energetic opening. For others, it may simply offer a meaningful day to pause, pray, meditate or become more intentional about what they are creating in their lives. What matters most is what it brings forward within you.

I feel the wisdom of this portal is not just about manifesting more. It is also about becoming honest enough to ask whether what we desire truly supports our soul. Are we asking from love or from fear? Are we creating from alignment or from the need to prove ourselves? Are we making space to receive, or are we still holding tightly to something that has already completed its purpose? These are questions I am sitting with too.

The 8/8 energy may bring an opportunity to look at the balance between our spiritual and human lives. We can be deeply connected to Spirit while still acknowledging our emotions, needs, boundaries and responsibilities here in the physical world. Spiritual growth does not ask us to escape our humanity. I believe it invites us to meet it with more compassion and awareness.

If you feel called, take a few quiet moments around August 8 to sit with yourself. Light a candle, place your hand over your heart, take a slow breath and ask, What am I ready to welcome into my life? Then ask, What within me needs love, healing or release so I can receive it? Do not search for the perfect answer. Simply notice what comes forward. Sometimes the first feeling, word, memory or image is the quiet wisdom we have been trying too hard to hear.

A Blessing for August

As we enter this new month, I would like to offer a blessing for each of you. May August meet you exactly where you are. May it bring clarity to the places that have felt uncertain and gentleness to the parts of you that are still healing. May you find the courage to release what no longer supports your wellbeing, without judging yourself for how long you carried it.

May the right doors open in the right way and at the right time. May your home feel peaceful, your body feel supported and your heart feel safe enough to soften. May you recognize the blessings that arrive quietly—a kind word, an unexpected moment of connection, a sense of relief, a new idea or the simple knowing that you are not alone.

May you trust that delays are not always denials and that endings do not mean you have lost your way. Most of all, may you remember that your worth is not measured by how much you accomplish, how quickly you heal or how perfectly you move through this life. You are worthy now, exactly as you are.

Affirmations for the Month Ahead

Take what resonates and leave what does not. You may want to speak these words aloud, write them in your journal or choose one to return to throughout the month.

  • I release July with gratitude and carry its wisdom forward.
  • I give myself permission to move at the pace my mind, body and soul need.
  • I trust the quiet guidance of my intuition.
  • I am worthy of peace, love, support and abundance.
  • I release the need to force what is not aligned for me.
  • I welcome new beginnings while honouring the journey that brought me here.
  • I trust that what is meant for me will meet me at the right time.
  • I allow myself to be both healing and whole.
  • I choose to meet myself with compassion instead of criticism.
  • I enter August with an open heart and a willingness to receive.

A Channelled Message for August

For this message, I was guided to pull three cards from The Psychic Tarot Oracle Deck by John Holland: Recognition & Reward, Emotional Withdrawal, and Partnerships & Alliances. I feel this is a multifaceted reading, with each card reflecting a different part of the journey we have been moving through.

The energy has felt very intense and introspective. The last month has been about coming home to ourselves, becoming honest about what we truly want and recognizing where our emotions lie. Many of us have been clearing old wounds that may have been holding us back from achieving our goals and desires. We have also been challenged to speak our truth, even through turbulent times, while learning how to express that truth with love and compassion.

The Emotional Withdrawal card feels deeply connected to this inward journey. At times, we need to step back from the noise around us so we can hear what is happening within us. This does not always mean shutting others out. Sometimes it means creating enough space to process, heal and reconnect with our own inner wisdom. I feel there has been a great deal of heart expansion, deep emotional healing and releasing taking place, which was also reflected in the energy surrounding the recent full moon.

We are now beginning to move forward into a time of Recognition & Reward. The work you have been doing on yourself, as well as in the different areas of your life, has not gone unnoticed. Even when the growth has felt slow or invisible, something has been shifting beneath the surface. The hard work is beginning to pay off as you become more aligned with your true self, your intentions and your purpose.

This recognition may come from others, but I also feel it is important to recognize yourself. Honour how far you have come. Acknowledge the difficult choices you have made, the patterns you have faced and the courage it has taken to keep moving forward. Not every reward arrives in a material form. Sometimes the reward is peace, clarity, self-trust or the freedom to choose differently than you did before.

The final card, Partnerships & Alliances, brings our attention to connection. This can relate to romantic relationships, friendships, family connections, work partnerships or the relationship we have with ourselves. There has been a great deal of growth in this area as well. Many have been getting to the heart of abandonment wounds, emotional triggers and the personal values that matter most within their connections.

As we become clearer about who we are, we also become clearer about what we need from the relationships in our lives. We begin to understand that healthy partnership is not about abandoning ourselves to keep the peace. It is about meeting one another with honesty, respect, compassion and a willingness to grow. The connections moving forward may ask us to communicate more clearly, receive support more openly and choose partnerships that feel balanced and aligned.

Together, these three cards tell a story. We have withdrawn to reflect and heal. We are beginning to recognize the growth and rewards that have come from that inner work. Now we are being guided toward more conscious, aligned and meaningful connections.

I feel the message for August is to trust what this season has revealed to you. Continue honouring your healing, speak your truth with love and allow yourself to receive the recognition, support and partnership that match the person you are becoming. You have done more work than you may realize, Beautiful Soul, and you do not have to keep proving your worth. Let yourself acknowledge your growth and remain open to what is ready to meet you now.

A Moment for You

Before you leave this page, I invite you to take one quiet moment for yourself. Put down anything you may be holding, relax your shoulders and take a slow breath. Place your hand over your heart and gently ask, What am I ready to leave with July, and what am I ready to welcome with August?

You do not need to have everything figured out before you begin again, and you do not need a perfect plan. You simply need the willingness to listen, to trust and to take the next step when it becomes clear.

Goodbye, July. Thank you for the lessons, the memories and the ways you helped us grow. Welcome, August. May we meet you with hope, openness and a little more compassion for ourselves and one another.

Thank you for spending these moments with me. I am truly grateful our paths have crossed, and I hope something within these words speaks gently to your heart. What are you releasing from July, and what are you welcoming into August? I would love to hear your reflections in the comments.

Until next time…

With love and blessings,

Nancy

Making Room for Everyone but Ourselves

The Quiet Cost of Self-Abandonment

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on something that has quietly revealed itself in my own life. It didn’t arrive through one defining moment or a single profound realization. Instead, it emerged through a series of ordinary experiences that, over time, all seemed to point toward the same pattern. The more curious I became about what was happening beneath the surface, the more I realized I wasn’t discovering something entirely new. I was remembering something I had slowly forgotten.

For much of my life, I believed that being a caring person meant making sure everyone else was okay. If someone was overwhelmed, I instinctively offered grace. If someone was struggling, my first response was to wonder what they might be carrying rather than judge their behaviour. I’ve always believed that every person has a story and that when we take the time to understand one another, compassion naturally grows.

I still believe that. In fact, I hope I never lose that part of myself.

What surprised me wasn’t my capacity for compassion. It was realizing that while I had become deeply committed to extending kindness, patience, and understanding to the people around me, I had quietly stopped offering those same gifts to myself.

Looking back, I don’t think self-abandonment usually begins with dramatic sacrifices. More often, it grows through small, almost invisible moments that seem harmless at the time. We tell ourselves we’ll speak up later because someone else is already overwhelmed. We set our own needs aside because another person’s needs feel more urgent. We convince ourselves we’re simply being patient, flexible, or understanding.

None of those moments seem especially significant on their own. The challenge is that they rarely happen only once.

Over time, those seemingly insignificant choices begin to shape the way we see ourselves. We become the dependable one. The easygoing one. The person who can always adapt, always understand, always make room. Gradually, without ever making a conscious decision, we become so accustomed to creating space for everyone else that we stop asking a simple but important question:

Have I left any room for myself?

As I’ve reflected on this pattern, I’ve become increasingly curious about where it begins. I don’t believe we’re born believing our needs matter less than everyone else’s. Somewhere along the way, many of us quietly learn that keeping the peace is more important than speaking the truth, that being easy to love means asking for less, and that making room for everyone else somehow requires making ourselves smaller.

We rarely notice it’s happening. It simply becomes the way we move through the world. We become highly attuned to other people’s emotions, quick to anticipate their needs, and remarkably skilled at adapting ourselves to keep relationships running smoothly. From the outside, it may look like kindness. On the inside, it can slowly become self-abandonment.

One of the biggest shifts in my own healing came when I realized I had confused compassion with self-abandonment.

I believed that if I could understand why someone behaved the way they did, my own hurt should somehow become smaller. If I knew they were overwhelmed, stressed, or carrying a heavy load, I instinctively made room for their experience without ever pausing to ask what I needed in that same moment.

It took me a long time to realize that understanding another person’s pain doesn’t erase my own.

Someone else can be struggling, and I can still feel hurt.

Someone else can be overwhelmed, and my needs can still matter.

Those truths aren’t in competition with one another. They simply ask us to make room for both.

That realization changed something inside me. Instead of constantly wondering whether I was expecting too much or being too sensitive, I found myself asking a different question:

What if my needs matter just as much as everyone else’s?

Not more.

Not less.

Just as much.

At first, that thought felt unfamiliar. Then it felt freeing. It reminded me that caring for myself doesn’t make me selfish. It allows me to continue caring for others without losing myself in the process. Compassion was never meant to flow in only one direction.

Today, I still believe in kindness. I still believe that people are often doing the best they can with the awareness, experiences, and resources they have. I still choose curiosity over judgment whenever I can. The difference is that I’ve stopped believing those values require me to disappear.

I’ve come to understand that healing isn’t about becoming harder. It isn’t about loving less deeply or building walls around our hearts. It’s about widening the circle of compassion until we finally include ourselves.

Perhaps that’s the invitation for all of us.

Not to become someone different.

Not to stop caring.

Not to stop believing in people.

But to remember that we are people too.

Reflection

As you reflect on your own life, I invite you to become curious.

Where have you been making yourself smaller to make room for someone else?

Where have you become so focused on understanding everyone around you that you’ve stopped listening to yourself?

What might change if you truly believed your needs mattered just as much as everyone else’s?

Sometimes the most meaningful shifts in our lives don’t begin with answers.

Sometimes they begin with one honest question.

Working Together

If you’ve recognized a little of yourself in these words, you’re not alone.

Through counselling, coaching, workshops, and speaking, I help individuals, couples, families, and organizations better understand the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that shape their relationships and the way they move through the world. Together, we create space for greater self-awareness, healthier boundaries, deeper connection, and lasting growth.

Healing doesn’t ask us to stop being compassionate.

It simply asks us to extend that same compassion to ourselves.

With love and blessings

Nancy

What Are We Really Trying Not to Feel?

A Gentle Conversation About Emotional Well-Being, Comfort and Healing

Before I begin, I want to make something very clear: this is not a judgment of anyone’s choices.

I am not here to tell anyone what they should or should not do. I am not a stranger to trauma, coping mechanisms or the need to find relief when life becomes painful. I am a trauma survivor myself, having experienced several forms of abuse and trauma throughout my life.

I understand that sometimes we do whatever we can to make it through the day.

Our ways of coping are not evidence that we are weak or broken. Often, they developed because they helped us carry something we did not yet have the safety, support or tools to process.

I also recognize that medications and other substances may have a necessary or purposeful place in someone’s life. They may be used for pain management, mental-health care, sleep, supervised therapeutic work or cultural and ceremonial practices.

That is not the focus of this conversation.

I am speaking gently and honestly about the times when we may begin using a substance or behaviour mainly to disconnect from feelings we do not yet know how to hold.

I am not speaking from above anyone. I am speaking from beside you—and from within my own ongoing healing journey.

Learning to Listen to Ourselves

Emotional well-being does not mean being happy all the time. Emotional intelligence does not mean having perfect control over everything we feel.

For me, it means becoming curious about my emotions instead of immediately running from them.

It means asking:

What am I feeling?

Where might this feeling be coming from?

What does this part of me need?

Sometimes anger may be protecting grief. Sometimes avoidance may be protecting fear. Sometimes our need to be fiercely independent may come from a time when depending on others did not feel safe.

The healing journey invites us to notice these things without shaming ourselves for them.

Healing can ask a great deal of us. It may invite us to move at our own pace, be patient with ourselves and meet difficult emotions with honesty and compassion. Every person’s journey is different, and simply choosing to begin—or begin again—is an act of courage.

Facing our past and trauma can sometimes feel frightening, tiring, confusing or lonely. That is why I do not believe we were meant to do all of it by ourselves.

There are compassionate counsellors, coaches, healers, mentors, support groups and trusted people willing to walk beside us. Finding the right support may take time, and one type of support may not be right for everyone. But having someone safe who listens without judgment can make an enormous difference.

The Many Ways We Find Comfort

People find comfort in many different ways.

For one person, it might be cannabis or alcohol. For another, it might be food, television, shopping, sex, gaming, work, social media or scrolling for hours.

None of these things automatically indicates addiction, trauma or avoidance. Something that is unhelpful for one person may have a very different and purposeful place in another person’s life.

Perhaps the most compassionate question is not, “Is this good or bad?”

Perhaps it is:

What role is this playing in my life right now?

Does it help me rest and return to myself?

Does it give me a little breathing room during a difficult time?

Or am I beginning to depend on it because being present with myself feels too painful?

There may not be an immediate or simple answer. The purpose of asking is not to criticize ourselves. It is simply to notice.

Comfort is a human need. We all deserve moments of relief.

At the same time, I have learned in my own life that there can be a subtle difference between comfort that restores me and comfort that helps me disappear. One is not always easy to distinguish from the other, especially while we are in survival mode.

I Have Used Numbing Too

I can have this conversation because I have lived it.

I have used food, television and shopping to comfort and numb myself, particularly during some of the most painful periods of my life.

I reached for these things after losing my dad, while moving through the pain of a breakup and when circumstances at home became extremely difficult.

After giving birth, I was also coping with postpartum challenges while trying to find my way as a new mother without the foundational support I needed. There were so many emotions, responsibilities and changes happening at once. At times, I did not have the capacity—or the sense of safety—to process all of it.

Food gave me comfort.

Television allowed me to step out of my own life and into someone else’s story for a little while.

Shopping, especially for craft supplies, gave me a spark of excitement and possibility. It gave me something to anticipate and helped me feel a little more in control.

I was an emotional shopper. I can own that now without condemning the woman I was.

She was not failing. She was trying to cope.

Those things offered moments of relief when I needed relief. I can honour what they did for me while also recognizing that they could not reach the deeper places within me that needed care.

There is a difference between something helping us through a moment and something helping us heal. Sometimes we need both, and learning the difference can take time.

What Helped Me Go Deeper

My deeper healing began when I found approaches that helped me explore what was beneath my coping patterns.

Trance healing, life coaching, Reiki, shamanic journeying and other healing experiences supported me in different ways. They helped me connect with parts of myself I had ignored, hidden or protected.

They did not make my life perfect, and they did not erase everything that happened to me. Healing rarely works that way.

They helped me become more honest and compassionate with myself.

Even now, as my life moves through another transition, I sometimes notice familiar patterns returning. I may feel the temptation to distract myself rather than sit with uncertainty.

The difference is that I am more aware now.

Instead of immediately criticizing myself, I can pause and ask, “What is happening inside me? What might I need right now?”

Sometimes I still need comfort. Sometimes I need rest. Sometimes I need to talk, cry, create, pray, move my body or ask for support.

Awareness does not mean I always make the perfect choice. It means I have an opportunity to make a more conscious one.

I am still a work in progress. I think most of us are.

The Body, Mind and Spirit

Trauma can touch every part of us.

It may affect our bodies, thoughts, emotions, nervous systems, relationships and sense of spiritual connection. Sometimes our bodies continue carrying an experience long after our minds have tried to move forward.

This is why I feel healing needs to make room for the whole person.

When I regularly disconnect from what I am feeling, it can become more difficult for me to hear what my body and emotions are trying to communicate. That does not make me wrong or broken. It may simply mean that something within me is asking to be noticed with care.

I am learning to replace the question, “Why am I doing this to myself?” with something gentler:

“What is this helping me carry?”

That small change in language creates space for compassion. It allows me to appreciate why a coping mechanism developed before deciding whether it still supports the life I am trying to create.

A Spiritual Perspective on the Auric Field

Within many spiritual and energetic traditions, the auric field is understood as a subtle field of energy surrounding and interacting with the physical body.

Some spiritual practitioners believe intoxication can temporarily affect this field, changing a person’s energetic boundaries or making them more sensitive to emotions, impressions and unfamiliar experiences.

Some people interpret experiences during altered states as encounters with energies or entities. Others understand them as thoughts, memories or trauma rising from the subconscious, heightened suggestibility or changes in perception associated with the substance.

These are different ways of interpreting deeply personal experiences. Beliefs about auras and entities belong to spiritual traditions and have not been established as medical facts.

I believe there is room to talk about these experiences without insisting that everyone understand them in the same way.

For me, the most helpful questions are gentle and grounding:

How does this experience leave me feeling?

Do I feel present and connected to myself?

Do I feel peaceful, unsettled, scattered or afraid?

Am I approaching the experience with clear intention and appropriate support?

What care might my body, mind or spirit need afterward?

This is not about creating fear around substances or altered states. It is about approaching them with awareness and respect for how differently they can affect each person.

If an experience leaves someone persistently frightened, paranoid, hearing or seeing things, or feeling watched or controlled, medical or mental-health support may be important. Seeking help does not require anyone to abandon their spirituality. Caring for our health and safety can be part of spiritual care.

Awakening Can Feel Uncomfortable

Many people feel that humanity is moving through a period of rapid spiritual awakening.

Awakening is often described as beautiful and peaceful, but it can also bring uncertainty, grief and disillusionment. We may begin questioning our relationships, institutions and beliefs we once accepted without hesitation.

Many spiritually sensitive people also feel connected to collective energetic changes they associate with the Schumann resonance. Although a direct connection between the Schumann resonance and spiritual or emotional symptoms has not been scientifically established, it remains a meaningful framework within many spiritual communities.

Whatever language we use, many of us seem to be re-examining our lives.

We may be noticing division, corruption and the ways fear can keep people separated. We may be becoming more aware of patterns within our families, communities and relationships.

That awareness can feel overwhelming. Sometimes we may want to turn away from it, and that is understandable.

Awakening does not have to mean processing everything at once. We can move gently. We can remain grounded. We can question what no longer feels true while staying connected to our bodies, responsibilities and the people who care about us.

We can allow awakening to unfold rather than forcing it.

Healing Within Relationships

Our past experiences can influence how we connect with others.

Sometimes we may pull away from people who care because being truly seen feels unfamiliar or unsafe. Sometimes we may build walls because we need protection. At other times, walking away really is the healthiest and safest choice.

Only we can explore that distinction for ourselves, and sometimes we may need support to see it clearly.

People are also exploring many identities, orientations and relationship structures. I do not believe an identity or consensual relationship choice should automatically be attributed to trauma.

I do believe that all of us, regardless of how we identify or love, can benefit from gently exploring whether our choices feel authentic and aligned with who we are.

The purpose of that reflection is not to judge the answer. It is to understand ourselves more deeply and create relationships rooted in honesty, consent, respect and emotional safety.

Support Instead of Shame

Shame rarely helps people heal.

Many coping mechanisms began because they served a purpose. They offered relief, comfort, protection or escape when something felt unbearable.

We can appreciate what a coping mechanism once did for us while gently asking whether it continues to support us today.

We need spaces where people can speak honestly without being labelled or reduced to their choices. We need trauma-informed care, emotional education, spiritual support and compassionate communities.

We need people willing to sit beside us without rushing our healing.

Progress is not perfection. Sometimes progress is simply the pause between feeling pain and automatically reaching for whatever once helped us avoid it.

In that pause, we may discover another possibility.

We can breathe.

We can rest.

We can reach out.

We can offer ourselves the kindness we so freely offer other people.

We can ask what the wounded part of us needs without demanding that it heal immediately.

An Invitation to Listen Within

If any part of my story feels familiar, I hope you know there is no shame in how you learned to survive.

The food, television, shopping, substances or other forms of comfort may have helped you carry experiences that once felt too heavy to hold alone. We can acknowledge what those coping mechanisms gave us without criticizing the person we were when we needed them.

We can also become gently curious about what we need now.

Perhaps healing begins with a quiet pause and a willingness to ask:

What am I feeling?

What have I been carrying?

What kind of support would help me feel safe enough to explore it?

There is no single path that is right for everyone. Healing may include professional care, spiritual practices, creative expression, supportive relationships, time in nature or simply learning to treat ourselves with greater patience.

What matters is finding support that respects the whole of who we are—our bodies, minds, emotions, experiences and spiritual beliefs.

You do not have to uncover every wound at once. You do not have to have all the answers, and you do not have to complete this journey perfectly.

You are allowed to move slowly.

You are allowed to rest.

You are allowed to ask for help.

You are allowed to begin again as many times as you need.

Maybe the first step is not changing everything. Maybe it is simply listening to yourself with honesty and compassion—and trusting that even the smallest moment of awareness can become part of your healing.

If You Would Like Support Along the Way

My own experiences have shaped the way I support others. Through life coaching, trance healing, Reiki, shamanic journeying and other intuitive healing practices, I offer a compassionate space where you can slow down, reconnect with yourself and gently explore what may be asking for your attention.

This work is not about judging your coping strategies, rushing your healing or telling you who you should become. It is about meeting you where you are and supporting you as you listen more deeply to your own needs, inner wisdom and personal truth.

If something in this article resonates with you and you feel drawn to explore your journey with support, I welcome you to learn more about my services or connect with me for a conversation.

You do not have to have everything figured out before reaching out. You only need to arrive as you are.

This article shares personal experience and spiritual reflection. It is not medical or mental-health advice and is not intended to diagnose or treat trauma, substance use or any other condition. My services are complementary spiritual and personal-development practices, not substitutes for medical care, psychotherapy, substance-use treatment or other licensed professional support. Please seek assistance from a qualified healthcare or trauma-informed professional when needed.

Support and Resources

If this article brings up difficult emotions, you do not have to work through them alone. The following Canadian resources may help you find compassionate, qualified support:

  • Immediate crisis support: If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, or you are concerned about someone you care about, call 988 or text 988. Canada’s 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline is available nationwide, 24 hours a day, in English and French. You can also visit 988.ca.
  • Mental-health support: The Government of Canada provides information about crisis assistance, provincial and territorial services, grief resources and other supports through its Mental Health Support portal.
  • Substance-use support: Health Canada’s Get Help with Substance Use page provides confidential services, referrals and support options across Canada.
  • Pregnancy and postpartum support: The Public Health Agency of Canada offers information about emotional well-being, warning signs and finding support through its Mental Health During and After Pregnancy resource.

If you are in immediate danger or require urgent medical assistance, contact your local emergency services. Readers outside Canada should use the crisis, mental-health and substance-use resources available in their own country or region.

Reaching out is not a failure or a sign that you are not strong enough. Sometimes it is simply the next caring step.

Healing Beyond Ourselves: The Journey of Self-Awareness

When Self-Awareness Becomes the Beginning—Not the Destination

Over the past year, I’ve found myself reflecting on something I can’t quite shake. We have never talked more openly about mental health than we do today. Conversations about boundaries, trauma, attachment styles, self-care, and healing have become part of everyday life, and I genuinely believe that’s something worth celebrating. For generations, many people suffered in silence, believing they simply had to endure whatever life placed in front of them. Learning to understand ourselves has given countless people permission to begin healing, and I know it has changed my own life in profound ways.

As grateful as I am for that shift, I’ve also found myself wondering if we’ve unintentionally left part of the conversation behind.

One phrase I hear often is, “People can only meet you where they’ve met themselves.” I believe there’s wisdom in those words. Our ability to love, communicate, empathize, and connect with others is shaped by our experiences and by the work we’ve done within ourselves. Recognizing that has helped me become more compassionate because I know every person carries a story I cannot fully see.

But another question keeps returning.

At what point does understanding ourselves become excusing ourselves?

I don’t ask that from a place of criticism. I ask it because it’s a question I’ve had to ask myself.

Over the last several years, my own healing has required me to look honestly at my patterns, my fears, and my reactions. It has asked me to apologize when I was wrong, to learn healthier ways of communicating, and to become more aware of the impact I have on the people around me. None of that has been easy, but it has shown me something important.

Understanding ourselves is only the beginning.

Healing isn’t simply about recognizing why we think, feel, or behave the way we do. Insight is valuable, but insight alone doesn’t create change. What transforms us is what we choose to do with that understanding. Healing asks us to continue growing. It asks us to become more aware, more compassionate, and more intentional in how we move through the world.

Perhaps that’s why I sometimes struggle with the way healing is presented online. Social media has introduced millions of people to valuable psychological concepts, but it has also reduced many of those ideas into short videos, catchy quotes, and simplified messages. While those messages can be helpful, they often leave out the nuance that real relationships require.

Take ghosting as one example. There are many reasons someone may disappear from a relationship or friendship. They may be overwhelmed, avoid conflict, lack emotional skills, or simply be doing the best they can with what they know. Understanding those possibilities can help us respond with compassion instead of immediate judgment.

But understanding someone’s behaviour doesn’t erase its impact.

Both things can be true.

Someone can be struggling, and someone else can still be hurt.

Compassion doesn’t require us to excuse every behaviour, just as accountability doesn’t require us to shame people for being imperfect.

The more I reflect on my own journey, the more I believe healing should gently change the way we show up in our lives. The deeper I understand myself, the more I hope to communicate honestly, repair relationships when possible, apologize when I’ve caused harm, and continue growing into someone who leaves people feeling respected—even when life becomes difficult.

That doesn’t mean perfection. None of us will get everything right. We all have seasons where we struggle, withdraw, or make mistakes. Healing isn’t about never falling short. It’s about becoming increasingly willing to learn from those moments instead of simply explaining them away.

Please don’t misunderstand me. There are absolutely situations where walking away without explanation is the safest and healthiest choice. Abuse, manipulation, and dangerous relationships require boundaries that protect our wellbeing. This article isn’t about those situations. It’s about the everyday relationships where discomfort quietly replaces communication and where healing quietly invites us to become a little braver than we were yesterday.

Final Thoughts

The longer I walk my own healing journey, the more I realize that healing isn’t simply about understanding why we think, feel, or behave the way we do. Understanding ourselves is incredibly important—but perhaps it’s only the beginning.

For me, healing has become less about finding answers and more about remaining open to growth. It’s challenged me to communicate more honestly, to take responsibility when I’ve caused harm, to hold healthy boundaries without losing compassion, and to remember that the people around me are often carrying stories I cannot see.

Maybe that’s why this question has stayed with me.

If healing is truly helping us grow, how is it changing the way we show up in the lives of others?

Not perfectly.

Not all at once.

Just a little more consciously than we did yesterday.

These are simply reflections from my own journey. I don’t offer them as absolute truths, but as questions that have helped me pause, reflect, and continue growing. Perhaps they’ll invite you to do the same.

I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts.

What has your own healing journey taught you? Has it changed the way you relate to yourself, to others, or perhaps both? Is there a part of today’s healing conversation that you feel we’re embracing well—or one you think we’re still learning to understand?

I’d love to continue the conversation in the comments.

With love,

Nancy

If this reflection resonated with you and you’re exploring your own healing journey, I’d love to walk alongside you. Whether through Reiki, intuitive guidance, or life coaching, my role isn’t to give you all the answers—it’s to create a space where you can discover your own.

When Did We Make Love So Complicated?

What Living with Chronic Illness Taught Me About Love, Loss and Letting People Know They Matter

I’ve been thinking about something lately.

Actually… it all started because a video popped up on my social media feed. You know the kind. Someone confidently explaining everything you should never do if you want a successful relationship. Never text first. Never compliment someone. Never tell them you like them. Wait before replying. Make them wonder. Make them chase.

I think I made it about thirty seconds before I laughed and muttered, “Oh, for fuck’s sake… when did we make this so complicated?”

It wasn’t even the advice itself that stayed with me.

It was the question that came afterwards.

When did we become so afraid to let people know they matter? Not just in dating… in life.

My dad used to tell me, “You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Appreciate what you have. Appreciate your life. Appreciate your people. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.” When I was younger, I heard the words, but like so many things our parents tell us, I don’t think I truly understood them. As I’ve gotten older, and life has handed me experiences I never would have chosen, those words have settled into my heart in an entirely different way.

Living with a lifelong blood disorder has meant hospitals have been woven into my life for as long as I can remember. There have been transfusions, procedures, moments of uncertainty, moments of genuine fear, incredible healthcare professionals who became part of my story, and more reminders than I ever wanted that our bodies don’t always follow the plans we make for them. Alongside that, I’ve lost friends and family far younger than anyone should have, and I’ve watched ordinary days become life-changing days in the space of a single phone call.

Experiences like these don’t make you fearless. They make you aware.

They remind you that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. That people aren’t guaranteed. That opportunities to tell someone they mattered aren’t guaranteed either.

Maybe that’s why I struggle so much with the message that caring should somehow be hidden. We seem to live in a culture that encourages us to carefully measure our kindness, calculate our responses and hold back our appreciation in case someone thinks we care “too much.”

Now, before anyone misunderstands me, I’m not suggesting we throw healthy boundaries out the window. Quite the opposite. Healthy boundaries matter. Trust should be earned. Discernment matters. Healing matters. Relationships deserve time to grow.

But moving thoughtfully isn’t the same thing as pretending we don’t care.

Somewhere along the way, I wonder if we’ve started confusing healthy boundaries with emotional distance. We’ve become so focused on protecting ourselves from rejection that we’ve forgotten how to build genuine connection.

Maybe it sounds a little old-fashioned, but I still believe in treating people the way I’d hope to be treated.

If someone crosses my mind, I’d like them to know.

If I appreciate someone, I’d rather tell them than assume they somehow already know.

If a friend is having a difficult week, I’d rather reach out than spend three days wondering whether they’ll think I’m being “too much.”

Not because I’m trying to earn love.

Not because I’m trying to manipulate an outcome.

Simply because appreciation deserves to be spoken.

After everything life has shown me, I’ve never once heard someone say they wished they’d appreciated people less. I’ve heard regret about the conversations that never happened, the words that stayed unsaid, the phone call that was put off until tomorrow, and the assumption that there would always be another chance. Those are the things that stay with people.

When I think about the people who’ve had the greatest impact on my own life, it wasn’t because they mastered emotional strategy or followed the latest relationship advice. They remembered the little things. They reached out. They sat beside me in hospital rooms. They celebrated my victories, held space during my grief and reminded me that I wasn’t carrying everything alone. None of those moments were extraordinary because they were perfectly timed. They were extraordinary because they were genuine.

That’s the kind of person I hope I continue becoming.

Not someone who measures kindness or calculates vulnerability, but someone who lets the people in my life know they matter.

Will everyone respond the way I hope?

Of course not.

Will everyone reciprocate?

No.

That’s part of being human.

Authenticity has never guaranteed that our hearts won’t be broken. It simply means we’re choosing to live in alignment with our values instead of allowing fear to decide how we show up in our relationships.

Maybe this isn’t really a conversation about dating at all.

Maybe it’s a conversation about remembering what it means to be human.

My dad’s words come back to me more often these days than they ever did when I was younger.

“You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Appreciate what you have. Appreciate your life. Appreciate your people. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.”

The older I get, the more I realize he wasn’t talking about possessions.

He was talking about people.

He was talking about making sure the people we love don’t have to wonder if they were loved. About appreciating what we have while we still have it. About not letting fear, pride or overthinking rob us of moments we’ll never get back.

Life has already taught me enough about how quickly everything can change. It doesn’t need to keep convincing me that time is precious.

So maybe I’ll keep reaching out when someone crosses my mind. Maybe I’ll keep telling people I appreciate them. Maybe I’ll keep believing that kindness isn’t something to be rationed, but something to be shared.

Maybe that makes me old-fashioned.

If it does…

I’m okay with that.

Because after everything I’ve lived through, I’d much rather risk caring too much than spend the rest of my life wondering whether the people I loved ever truly knew it.

I’d rather say what I mean…

and mean what I say.

Thank you for taking a few minutes to spend with me today. If this reflection resonated with you, I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts. Has life changed the way you show up for the people you love? Has it made you more guarded, or has it reminded you to love a little more openly?

I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I’m simply sharing what life has been teaching me, one experience at a time. My hope is that, somewhere in these words, you found a piece of your own story too.

Until next time… take care of yourself, appreciate your people, and don’t leave the important words unsaid.

with Love and Blessings

Nancy

A little afterthought…

As I sat with this after publishing, I realized I wanted to add one more thing. Kindness should never come at the expense of your self-respect, your safety or your peace. Healthy boundaries and genuine connection can absolutely exist together. This reflection simply comes from a lifetime of learning that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, and that the people we love deserve to know they matter while they’re here to hear it.