Hello Beautiful Soul,
Today I was guided to share something a little bit different with you. I want to talk about grief and loss and how to honour our loved ones around the holiday season. I am also guided to share my personal journey with grief and loss with you. I have experienced quite a lot in life but one that was the most profound for me was the loss of my father.
The holiday season can be a really difficult time for those of us that have lost someone close to us. In this blog I hope to share some ways to create that connection over the holiday season as well as throughout the year.
I myself lost my father 13 years ago, to brain cancer and it still feels like yesterday in certain ways. One of the most important things I realized as I was going through this process with my dad, was that the connection does not end in fact, it just changes shape.
My relationship with my dad was not always the easiest. Coming from a split home, going back and forth, and being brought up in a very Italian culture where the attention and focus was usually on my brother. It was in the later years of our time together; late teens to early 20s that we got closer.
Spending a month in Italy together was the catalyst to changing our relationship. He was a very awoke man, more so than I ever realized until this day.
I was in school to training to become an MOA when my gifts started to really develop and he was diagnosed shortly after. I started reaching out and calling him when I felt guided to and we would talk all about it. I also had some very powerful visits from my Nonna that had passed and he would tell me how very special that was and how my frequency was allowing me to tap into something. He really was the first one to truly talk to me about the metaphysical side of things, using the analogy of the radio and how we all have the ability it’s just that some are more tuned into the station than others, and that we can all work on strengthening that frequency. This really helped us bond on a deeper level.
When he was in the last stages of his illness, we talked about messages and how he would try to come through. One thing he said that I always remember is, that at Easter time, all I want is for you guys to still get together and celebrate. I WILL make my presence known. And let me tell you every year he has let us know he is around. He would make the lights flicker, and not just a little bit, enough for us to really notice. He would show up in our dreams. He would come through me via mediumship or automatic writing to delivery messages for myself as well as others in the family. I feel like I have a stronger connection in some ways now to my dad than I ever did before.
When we loose someone we love, it changes us in so many ways. We have to learn how to go on without that physical presence in our lives any more. What I have come to learn over time, and years of studying is that the essence of who our loved ones are, who we are, is not in the physical body but in our energy/soul, and that never dies. It’s about learning to create a new type of connection with them, by honouring who they were.
Some things that really helped me early on in the grieving process is, first allowing myself the time I needed to feel all the feelings, good bad and ugly. To cry, scream, shout, to live in denial a little bit and then push forward. I slowly dived deeper into understanding the soul, and death and dying, mediumship and so on. I was given a great book that really helped me. It was called, ” Survival of the Soul” by Lisa Williams. I also read books by psychic mediums like Theresa Caputo, John Holland, John Edward and Doreen Virtue. All helped me in their own way.
It was in these books that I really learned how to trust the signs and symbols, and even visits I was getting, via dreams, music, thoughts, signs, nature etc.
One way that helped me work through my grief was the process of create something, I began to scrapbook, I found old pictures of my dad, myself, brother and mom, and I worked through a lot of things that way. You see, I needed the physical pictures to help me reframe the last memory I had of my dad. I was there with him when he passed and so it would always play in my mind. By doing the scrapbook, I was able to focus on happier memories where he was smiling and full of life.
Some other ways that helped me through the hard moments, such as holiday seasons, were to create little rituals to reshape the relationship. One that helped a great deal was setting up an alter with his photo, something of his like a pen or statue, lighting a candle and talking to him. I do this for my grandparents that have passed away also. Talking to them here felt like I had them back in my life in some small way.
Great ways to honour and bring in your loved ones through the holiday season is setting a place specifically for them, they will show you they are there. They want to be part of it and will show themselves in what ever ways they can that will get your attention. As mentioned before my dad always made his presence known at our holiday events that were dear to him, ie New Years.
For me I also noticed this happened at specific events that I attended that were meaningful to my dad, Nonna, and other dear friends. One instance I can remember so clearly was when I attended an Italian comedy show. The whole place was packed to the brim with Italians, but somehow I had two empty seats beside me. I know without a shadow of a doubt that they were there laughing along with me.
Other ways to honour our loved ones, is to write out their stories, connect with their soul, their memory, when you’re ready. Cooking their favourite foods on a special day like a birthday. Creating art in any form, to release your heartache and sorrow.
They share in those special moments and want us to laugh, love and enjoy the present moment. Though it is so very difficult to truly trust in it while in the thick of grieving. Take time to honour how you feel, and put that love into those around you. Know there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s going to come in waves. Some days you will feel okay and others it will feel like it all just happened. Don’t push you self too hard, and reach out to those that love you to help get you through when things just feel too much.
I have created some custom malls to help with the healing process of grief and loss. They are created with genuine crystals and infused with so much love, light and reiki energy.
I hope this message can help those of you going through a difficult time now and give others some inside into what your friends and family might be going through. Everyone please have a wonderful Holiday Season, and if you feel guided to come to me for a reading I am offering a 22% discount till the end of January 2021.