Children Grieve Too: Understanding the Losses, Emotions, and Behaviours We Often Overlook

Sometimes the most important conversations happen during the simplest moments, like a mommy-and-son dinner date.

The other night, my son and I had a mommy-and-son dinner date. Just the two of us, spending time together, connecting, and having some of those conversations that don’t always happen in the busyness of everyday life. It reminded me how important it is to intentionally create these moments with our children, not just for the laughter, the fun, or the memories, but for the hard conversations too. The conversations about life, love, grief, and loss. The conversations that sometimes make us uncomfortable but are so incredibly important.

One thing I don’t think we talk about enough is how deeply children experience grief and how differently that grief can show up. As adults, we often associate grief with sadness, crying, and missing someone. But for children, grief can look like so much more. It can look like anger, frustration, attitude, withdrawal, resentment, or behaviour that seems completely out of character. Sometimes the child who appears to be acting out is actually a child who is hurting and doesn’t know how to express it.

This is something that has become very personal to me as I watch my own son process the loss of his Papa. My son never had the opportunity to say goodbye, and I can see how deeply that has affected him. As a mother, it’s heartbreaking because I can’t go back and change what happened. I can’t give him that last hug, that final conversation, or the chance to tell his Papa one more time how much he loved him. What I can do is create space for him to talk about it, ask questions, feel whatever he needs to feel, and know that he doesn’t have to carry those emotions alone.

Sometimes, when a loved one becomes sick, they make the decision not to allow children to see them in that condition. Often, that decision comes from a place of love. They don’t want children to remember them as sick, weak, or suffering. I can understand wanting to protect a child from something so painful, but I also think we need to talk about the other side of that decision. What happens to the child who never gets the chance to understand what’s happening? What happens when someone they love is suddenly gone, and they are left with questions, confusion, and feelings they don’t know how to process?

We often think we’re protecting children by keeping them away from difficult situations or conversations, but sometimes we unintentionally leave them with more questions than answers. Children notice far more than we realize. They notice when someone is missing from family gatherings, when adults become emotional, and when certain names stop being mentioned. They notice the silence around loss, even when we think we’re protecting them from it. And when they don’t understand what’s happening, they may begin trying to make sense of it on their own.

I believe children deserve age-appropriate honesty, compassion, and the opportunity to be included in conversations about illness, death, and loss. That doesn’t mean every child needs to witness every difficult moment, and it doesn’t mean forcing a child to say goodbye in a way they aren’t comfortable with. It means recognizing that children have emotional needs too. When possible, they deserve choices, explanations, reassurance, and opportunities to connect with the person they love. Not having that chance can leave feelings that surface long after the funeral is over.

When Grief Comes Out as Anger and Resentment

Something I especially want families to understand is that grief doesn’t always look like grief. Sometimes it looks like a child becoming angry over the smallest things, talking back, withdrawing from family, or showing resentment toward people who have done absolutely nothing wrong. And sometimes, those emotions are directed toward the very grandparents and family members who are still living.

Think about that for a moment. A child loses a grandparent they deeply love, someone who was an important part of their world. They didn’t get to say goodbye, and now they’re trying to understand why that person is gone. They may look at their other grandparents and experience feelings they can’t explain. Why is my Papa gone, but you’re still here? Why can I still make memories with you, but I can’t make any more with him? Why didn’t I get one last hug or one more chance to see him?

Those may not be questions a child ever says out loud. They may not even recognize that these are the emotions sitting underneath their behaviour. Instead, those feelings can come out as irritation, anger, rejection, attitude, or displaced resentment toward another grandparent. Not because that grandparent has done anything wrong, and not necessarily because the child doesn’t love them, but because their presence may remind the child of the person who is missing.

Imagine being a surviving grandparent who is trying to love and support a grieving grandchild, only to feel like that child is pushing you away. That can be incredibly hurtful and confusing. You may wonder why they’re suddenly treating you differently or why they seem angry with you when all you’ve done is try to be there for them. But what if we stopped taking every reaction personally and started asking what might be happening underneath the behaviour? What if the attitude is sadness that doesn’t know where to go? What if the anger is heartbreak? What if the resentment comes from a child struggling with how unfair it feels that one person they love is gone while others are still here?

Sometimes children aren’t angry at the person standing in front of them. They’re angry about the person who is no longer there.

This doesn’t mean every difficult behaviour is caused by grief, and it certainly doesn’t mean we should excuse hurtful behaviour or stop teaching children respect and kindness. Boundaries are still important, but we can hold those boundaries while also showing compassion. We can remind a child that it’s not okay to speak unkindly to someone while still acknowledging that they may be carrying some very big feelings.

Instead of immediately reacting to the attitude, perhaps we can ask, “Are you having a hard day because you’re missing Papa?” Instead of assuming a child is simply being disrespectful, we can get curious about what’s happening emotionally. We can also give them room to tell us we’re wrong about what they’re feeling, because sometimes children need us to listen without deciding the answer for them.

The people children feel safest with may be the ones who see their biggest emotions. A child may hold everything together throughout the day and then release those feelings around the people they trust most. Other times, being around a surviving grandparent may bring up memories, sadness, or a sense of unfairness they don’t know how to manage.

If a grieving child seems distant, angry, or resentful, try not to immediately see it as rejection. Continue showing up without forcing closeness or making them feel guilty for their emotions. Remind them that they can love and miss the grandparent who has passed away while still loving and making memories with the grandparents who are here. Loving one person doesn’t take away from loving another, and making new memories doesn’t mean forgetting the person you’ve lost.

Are We Missing the Grief Behind a Child’s Behaviour?

“Two children can experience the same world differently. Behind every reaction is a story worth understanding”.

Here’s another conversation I believe we need to have, especially when it comes to children who have been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, emotional regulation challenges, or sensory sensitivities. What if we’re sometimes so focused on a child’s behaviour that we’re missing the emotions underneath it? What if the child who is suddenly struggling to concentrate, becoming easily frustrated, or reacting intensely to situations that once seemed manageable is actually carrying the weight of a loss they haven’t been able to process?

Children don’t always have the emotional awareness or words to explain what’s happening inside them. A child may not know how to say, “I’m overwhelmed because I miss my Papa,” or “I’m angry because I never got the chance to say goodbye.” Instead, those feelings may appear as restlessness, withdrawal, difficulty sleeping, changes in concentration, or emotional outbursts. Sometimes these reactions can resemble symptoms associated with ADHD, anxiety, or other developmental and emotional challenges. But similar behaviours don’t always have the same underlying cause, and that’s why I believe we need to look beyond what we’re seeing on the surface.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition, and grief does not cause ADHD. A child can have ADHD and also be grieving, just as a child experiencing significant loss may develop difficulties with attention or emotional regulation without having ADHD. Grief, stress, and emotional overwhelm can also make existing sensitivities or challenges more difficult to manage. Understanding these differences matters because children deserve support that considers both their developmental needs and their emotional experiences.

When a child begins struggling, I wonder how often we stop to ask what’s been happening in their world. Have they lost someone they love? Did they have the opportunity to say goodbye? Have there been significant changes in their relationships or daily life? Are they carrying sadness, anger, rejection, or confusion that nobody has recognized? And perhaps most importantly, when did these changes in behaviour begin, and what was happening in their life at that time?

I’m not suggesting that diagnoses are unnecessary or that professionals aren’t doing important work. A thorough assessment should consider a child’s developmental history, how they function in different environments, and whether grief, stress, trauma, or other experiences may be contributing to their difficulties. But I do believe we need to remain curious and recognize that a diagnosis doesn’t automatically explain every emotional reaction or change in behaviour. Sometimes more than one thing is happening, and every part of that child’s experience deserves attention.

As a mother, I think about how easily a child’s pain can be misunderstood. Imagine a child who has lost a grandparent they deeply loved and never had the chance to say goodbye. They’re carrying unanswered questions and emotions they don’t fully understand. Their concentration changes, their frustration grows, and suddenly the adults around them are focused on managing their reactions. But what if those reactions are partly connected to the sadness, confusion, or unfairness they feel about their loss? What if, alongside teaching healthier ways to manage emotions, we made more room to talk about what they’re grieving?

I believe parents, teachers, caregivers, and healthcare professionals need to work together to understand the whole child rather than viewing each behaviour in isolation. A child may have genuine developmental or mental health needs that require appropriate assessment and support, while also carrying grief that deserves compassion and understanding. We shouldn’t overlook either one.

Before we focus only on correcting a child’s behaviour, perhaps we need to spend more time understanding what that child has been through. Sometimes the child who appears angry is actually hurting. Sometimes the child who can’t concentrate has a mind filled with worries or unanswered questions. And sometimes the child who seems overly reactive is struggling with emotions they haven’t yet learned how to express.

That doesn’t mean every behaviour is grief or that every diagnosis is wrong. It simply means we need to ask more questions before assuming we understand the whole story. Children need to be seen as whole people, not simply as a collection of behaviours, symptoms, or labels. And to me, that’s where understanding and healing can begin.

Grief Isn’t Always About Death: The Invisible Losses Our Children Carry

“ Not every loss comes with a funeral. Sometimes children grieve friendships, family changes, and the sense of security they once knew.“

When we talk about grief, we often think about the death of someone we love. But I think there’s a much bigger conversation we need to have about the losses children experience when nobody has actually passed away. What about the child whose parents are going through a divorce, whose entire world has changed, and who is now moving back and forth between two homes? What about the child who has lost a best friend, is being excluded at school, or is experiencing bullying? What about the child who once felt confident, secure, and connected but now questions where they belong or whether they’re good enough? These are losses too, and just because nobody has died doesn’t mean a child isn’t grieving.

I think we sometimes underestimate how deeply these experiences affect children. For a child, losing a friendship can feel like losing an important part of their world. Being excluded from a group they once belonged to can bring feelings of rejection, loneliness, embarrassment, and sadness. Being bullied can affect their confidence, their sense of safety, and how they see themselves. Yet how often do we hear adults say things like, “Kids will be kids,” “You’ll make new friends,” or “Don’t let it bother you”? But to that child, it does matter. Their world may feel like it’s falling apart, even if the adults around them see it as something they’ll eventually get over.

And then there’s divorce and separation. Even when parents are doing their best to create a loving and supportive environment, children may still grieve the family life they once knew. They may miss having both parents together, the familiar routines, family dinners, holidays, or simply knowing that everyone they love is under the same roof.

For children who move back and forth between homes, there can be another layer of emotional complexity. They’re constantly adjusting to different routines, expectations, environments, and sometimes even different rules. Some children adapt well, while others find those transitions emotionally exhausting. They may love both parents deeply and still wish things were different. They may feel guilty for enjoying time with one parent because they worry about hurting the other, or feel caught in the middle when there’s conflict between households.

A child can be surrounded by people who love them and still grieve the stability, familiarity, or sense of belonging they once had. Sometimes they don’t know how to explain any of it. They may become quieter, more anxious, more easily frustrated, or reluctant to participate in things they once enjoyed. They may dread going to school because of bullying or become upset before moving between their parents’ homes. What appears to be a difficult reaction may be connected to an experience that feels much bigger to them than the adults around them realize.

And sometimes the loss isn’t immediately obvious. A child may still attend the same school and live in the same home but feel that their world has changed because a friendship has ended or a group of classmates has turned against them. They may be grieving the confidence they once had, the trust they placed in someone, or the feeling that they belonged.

Not every loss comes with a funeral. Not every heartbreak is visible. And not every grieving child knows that what they’re experiencing is grief.

I think this is where we, as adults, need to become more intentional. We need to create opportunities for children to talk about friendship struggles without dismissing them. We need to take bullying seriously and address the environment causing harm, rather than simply expecting children to become more resilient. We need to recognize that divorce can affect children emotionally, even when both parents are loving and doing their best.

Instead of assuming a child is being dramatic about losing a friendship, we can acknowledge how painful rejection can feel. Instead of telling a child they should be used to moving between two homes by now, we can ask what would make those transitions feel easier. And instead of expecting children to explain their feelings perfectly, we can give them time, patience, and reassurance while they find the words.

We can still have boundaries. We can still teach accountability, respect, and healthy ways to manage emotions. But we can do those things while recognizing that children need connection and understanding, not just correction. When their struggles persist or begin affecting school, relationships, sleep, or daily life, seeking support from a qualified professional can help us better understand what they need.

I think one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the understanding that their feelings don’t have to make sense to everyone else to deserve compassion. They don’t have to experience a death for their sadness to matter. They don’t have to lose a family member for their world to feel different, and they don’t have to reach a breaking point before we start paying attention.

Sometimes children are grieving people who are still alive, friendships that have changed, homes that no longer feel the same, and a sense of belonging they don’t know how to get back. Those losses deserve conversations too. Because children don’t just grieve the people they’ve lost. Sometimes they grieve the life they thought they would have, the friendships they thought would last, and the sense of security they once knew.

Children Learn How to Grieve From the Adults Around Them

Another important part of this conversation is recognizing how much children learn about grief by watching the adults in their lives. They notice whether we talk openly about someone we’ve lost or avoid mentioning their name. They see whether crying is accepted or something we’re expected to hide. They learn whether difficult emotions are welcomed or pushed aside.

As adults, we sometimes feel like we need to be strong for our children, but I don’t believe being strong means pretending we’re okay all the time. I think there’s something incredibly valuable about allowing children to see that we grieve too. It’s okay for them to see us cry. It’s okay to say, “I really miss him today.” It’s okay to share a memory and become emotional. Those moments can teach children that sadness is a natural part of loving someone and that grief isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Of course, children shouldn’t feel responsible for managing an adult’s grief. We can be honest about our emotions while reassuring them that we’re taking care of ourselves and that they don’t need to make everything better.

What I don’t want is for children to grow up believing they need to hide their feelings to protect the adults around them. I don’t want them to feel that talking about someone who has passed away will make everyone uncomfortable. And I certainly don’t want them to think that because time has passed, they should somehow be over their loss.

Grief doesn’t work that way, especially for children. As they grow, their understanding of death and loss changes. A child may process the loss of a grandparent one way when they’re young and experience that same loss differently years later. Birthdays, holidays, graduations, family gatherings, and everyday moments can bring those feelings back. They may suddenly realize that someone they love won’t be there for an important milestone, and that realization can bring a whole new wave of sadness or anger.

This is why I believe conversations about grief need to continue long after someone has passed away. We can’t assume that because a child isn’t talking about their loss, they’re no longer feeling it.

Why Talking About Our Loved Ones Matters

As someone who has experienced the loss of many people I love, one thing I’ve learned is that talking about them doesn’t make me feel worse. It makes me feel closer to them. I love hearing their names, sharing memories, laughing about the funny things they used to do, and remembering the little moments that made them special. Sometimes those conversations bring tears, and sometimes they bring laughter. Sometimes they bring both. But I would much rather talk about the people I’ve lost than feel as though their names have become something we’re no longer allowed to mention.

When someone passes away, our love for them doesn’t disappear. Our relationship with them changes, but the memories and connection remain. And I believe children deserve to experience that connection too. They deserve to hear stories about their grandparents and other loved ones who are no longer here. They deserve to ask questions, look at photographs, remember special moments, and talk about the things they miss. They deserve to know that it’s okay to feel happy while remembering someone and that it’s also okay to feel sad.

For families who have experienced a loss, I encourage you to make an effort to keep those conversations going. Ask children about their favourite memories. Ask what they miss most. Ask whether there’s something they wish they could tell that person. Share your own memories too. Let them hear stories they may not have known. Let them know that the person they loved is still remembered.

And if they don’t want to talk, that’s okay too. The goal isn’t to force a conversation. It’s to make sure they know the door is always open.

What Happens When a Child Never Gets to Say Goodbye?

This is the part that sits especially close to my heart because it’s something my son is living with. He never got the chance to say goodbye to his Papa, and I know there are many other children who have experienced something similar.

Sometimes goodbyes aren’t possible. Illnesses progress quickly, circumstances are complicated, and decisions are made with the best intentions. I understand that there isn’t always an easy answer, and I don’t believe there is one perfect way for every family to navigate the end of someone’s life. But I do believe we need to think more carefully about the emotional impact these decisions can have on children.

A child may not fully understand what death means, but they understand love. They understand connection. They understand when someone who was once part of their life is no longer there. And they can feel the pain of that absence deeply, even if they express it differently.

When a child doesn’t get the opportunity to say goodbye, they may carry unanswered questions, sadness, anger, or regret. Some children may wonder why they weren’t included or whether they could have done something differently. Others may struggle to understand why they weren’t able to see the person they loved one last time. Not every child will feel this way, but for those who do, their questions deserve gentle and honest answers.

We can’t always change those circumstances, but we can help children process what happened. We can explain decisions honestly and gently, without placing blame. We can reassure them that they were loved and that not having the opportunity to say goodbye doesn’t change the relationship they had.

We can also help them find meaningful ways to express what they wish they could have said. Maybe that means writing a letter, creating a memory box, visiting a special place, looking through photographs, or starting a family tradition to honour their loved one. None of these things replaces that final goodbye, but they can give children a way to express feelings they may have been holding inside.

Sometimes, simply having an adult acknowledge, “I know you wish you had gotten to say goodbye, and I’m sorry you didn’t have that chance,” can mean more than we realize.

We Need to Look Beyond the Behaviour

I think one of the most important things we can do for children is remember that their behaviour is only one part of their story. Whether they’re grieving the death of someone they love, struggling with a friendship, adjusting to family changes, or navigating difficult emotions, they need adults who are willing to listen before making assumptions.

That doesn’t mean we ignore hurtful behaviour or stop teaching respect, kindness, and accountability. It means recognizing that compassion and boundaries can exist together. We can help children understand that their feelings are valid while teaching them healthier ways to express those feelings.

And sometimes, the most supportive thing we can do is recognize when a child needs more help than we can provide on our own. A qualified child counsellor or mental health professional can offer guidance when emotional struggles begin affecting a child’s relationships, school experience, or everyday life.

Our children don’t need us to have all the answers. They need to know we’re willing to listen, take their feelings seriously, and stand beside them as they learn to understand what they’re experiencing.

Let’s Normalize Conversations About Grief and Loss

I want us to create a world where children feel safe talking about the things that hurt, whether that’s losing someone they love, watching their family change, experiencing bullying, or feeling rejected by friends. I want parents, grandparents, teachers, and caregivers to recognize that children don’t always express their pain through tears. Sometimes it shows up in ways that are harder to understand.

We don’t need to rush children through their emotions or expect them to move on simply because time has passed. What matters is creating opportunities for honest conversations and helping them understand that their experiences deserve to be acknowledged.

Sometimes that begins with something as simple as spending time together, asking how they’re really doing, and being willing to listen to the answer.

“ Sometimes healing begins with simply being present, listening, and reminding our children they never have to carry their feelings alone.“

Sometimes the Most Important Conversations Happen Over Dinner

That mommy-and-son dinner date reminded me that some of the most meaningful moments we create with our children aren’t necessarily the big ones. Sometimes they’re the quiet moments when we slow down enough to really listen.

I can’t give my son the goodbye he never had with his Papa. I can’t take away the sadness or make the loss feel fair. And I can’t always protect him from the difficult emotions that come with missing someone he loves. But I can give him a safe place to talk about it.

I can listen when he’s sad, be patient when he’s frustrated, and help him understand the emotions he may not have words for yet. I can remind him that it’s okay to miss his Papa, that it’s okay to feel angry about what happened, and that it’s okay to continue loving and making memories with the family members who are still here. I can make sure his Papa’s name continues to be spoken, his memories continue to be shared, and the love they had is never forgotten.

If there’s one thing I hope families take away from this, it’s that children grieve too, and their grief deserves just as much compassion, patience, and understanding as anyone else’s. Sometimes they show it through tears, sometimes through silence, and sometimes through anger, attitude, or resentment. Other times, they show it in ways that are difficult for the adults around them to understand.

So let’s keep having the conversations. Let’s keep sharing the memories. Let’s keep saying the names of the people we’ve lost. Let’s also make room for the invisible losses that children experience, and let’s make sure the children in our lives know that their feelings matter, even when those feelings are messy, complicated, or difficult to understand.

Because grief is love with nowhere familiar to go, and sometimes the greatest thing we can do for a grieving child is help them find a place for that love to live.

For my son, that means knowing his Papa may no longer be physically here, but the love, the memories, and the connection they shared will always be part of his story. And as his mom, I’ll keep making space for that story, one conversation, one memory, and one dinner date at a time. ❤️

Helping Children Through Grief: Books, Activities, and Gentle Ways to Remember

As much as I believe in having open and honest conversations about grief, I also recognize that sometimes children need more than words. They may not know how to explain what they’re feeling, or they may find it easier to express themselves through stories, drawing, play, or simply spending quiet time with someone they trust.

As parents, grandparents, and caregivers, we don’t always know what to say or how to help. We may worry about bringing up painful memories or making a child feel sad. But supporting a grieving child doesn’t mean having all the answers. Sometimes it means offering gentle opportunities for them to explore their feelings at their own pace.

I wanted to share a few books, activities, and resources that families may find helpful, whether a child is grieving the death of someone they love or experiencing another significant loss in their life.

Books That Can Help Children Understand Grief

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst

This is a beautiful story about the invisible connection of love that continues even when we’re separated from someone important to us. Although it isn’t exclusively about death, it can be especially comforting for children experiencing grief, separation, or changes in their family. I love the message that physical distance doesn’t erase the love we share.

The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr

Written in simple language with colourful illustrations, this book helps younger children explore the feelings that can come with losing someone they love. It acknowledges sadness, confusion, and the changes that grief can bring while offering reassurance that those emotions are okay.

Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley

This gentle story follows a group of animals as they remember their friend Badger after his death. It introduces the idea that even when someone is no longer physically with us, the memories, lessons, and love they leave behind continue to be part of our lives.

When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown

This book offers straightforward, age-appropriate explanations about death, funerals, emotions, and the questions children may have. It can be particularly helpful for families who aren’t sure how to begin these difficult conversations.

The Memory Box: A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland

This story explores remembering someone who has died and finding comfort in the memories we carry. It can also inspire children to create their own memory box filled with photographs, keepsakes, drawings, and other reminders of someone special.

Every child is different, and not every book will feel right for every family. I encourage you to read a book first, consider your child’s age and experiences, and allow them to ask questions or stop reading whenever they need to.

Gentle Activities to Help Children Express Their Feelings

Create a Memory Box

Invite your child to decorate a special box and fill it with photographs, drawings, letters, or small items that remind them of someone they love. They can add to it whenever they wish, and it can become a comforting place to revisit memories.

For a child who never had the opportunity to say goodbye, this can be a meaningful way to honour the relationship they shared.

Write a Letter to Someone They Miss

Sometimes children carry words they never had the chance to say. Encourage them to write a letter, draw a picture, or create a card for the person they’re missing. They might want to share a favourite memory, ask a question, express anger, or simply say, “I love you.”

The letter doesn’t need to be shared with anyone. The purpose is to give those feelings somewhere to go.

Make a Feelings Jar

Decorate a jar together and place small pieces of paper beside it. Whenever your child feels sad, angry, confused, worried, or even happy, they can write or draw what they’re feeling and place it inside.

If they want to, you can sit together and talk about some of those feelings. If they aren’t ready, that’s okay too. Sometimes knowing they have a safe way to express themselves is enough.

Create a Memory Scrapbook

Gather photographs, favourite stories, drawings, and memories into a scrapbook. You might include special family traditions, funny moments, favourite meals, or places you visited together.

For children grieving a grandparent, this can help them feel connected to the person they miss while learning more about the life and love they shared.

Start a Special Remembrance Tradition

You might light a battery-operated candle on a loved one’s birthday, bake their favourite cookies, visit a meaningful place, plant flowers, or share a favourite memory during family gatherings.

These traditions don’t need to be elaborate. What matters is helping children understand that remembering someone is a natural and loving part of family life.

Try a Feelings Check-In

For children who struggle to explain their emotions, try asking, “If your feelings were weather today, would they be sunny, cloudy, rainy, or stormy?”

A younger child might enjoy drawing their emotional weather, while an older child may prefer talking about it. This can create an opening for conversation without making them feel pressured to explain everything at once.

Activities for Children Experiencing Invisible Losses

Not every child is grieving someone who has died. For children experiencing divorce, bullying, friendship changes, or moving between homes, activities can help them feel heard and regain a sense of stability.

A child adjusting to two households might create a comfort bag containing a favourite photograph, stuffed animal, book, or familiar item that travels with them. A child who has lost a friendship might benefit from drawing or writing about what that friendship meant to them and what they hope for in future friendships. A child experiencing bullying may need opportunities to rebuild confidence, but they also need adults to take the bullying seriously and help make their environment safer.

Sometimes the most helpful activity is simply doing something together without expecting a conversation. Going for a walk, baking, colouring, playing a game, or sitting quietly can create the kind of connection that makes it easier for children to open up when they’re ready.

Helpful Grief Support Resources for Families

Families don’t have to navigate childhood grief alone. There are organizations that offer guidance, activities, and support for children and the adults caring for them.

Dougy Center — The National Grief Center for Children & Families

Website: https://www.dougy.org

Offers grief education, activities, and resources for children, teens, families, and caregivers.

Winston’s Wish

Website: https://winstonswish.org

Provides information and guidance for supporting children and young people who are grieving the death of someone important.

Canadian Virtual Hospice — KidsGrief

Website: https://kidsgrief.ca

A Canadian resource designed to help parents and caregivers support children through death and grief, with practical guidance for difficult conversations.

BC Children’s Hospital — Kelty Mental Health Resource Centre

Website: https://keltymentalhealth.ca

Offers mental health information and resources for families in British Columbia, including support for children experiencing emotional and behavioural difficulties.

These resources can be a starting point, but if a child’s distress is ongoing or affecting their everyday life, a qualified child mental health professional or grief counsellor can help families understand what additional support may be needed.

A Gentle Reminder for Parents and Caregivers

I think it’s important to remember that none of these books or activities is meant to take away a child’s grief. We can’t replace the person they’ve lost, undo a painful family change, or erase the hurt of a friendship ending. And we shouldn’t expect a child to feel better simply because they’ve completed an activity.

What we can do is offer connection, reassurance, and opportunities for them to express themselves in ways that feel comfortable.

Some children will want to talk. Others will want to draw, play, ask questions, or sit quietly beside us. Their needs may change from one day to the next, and that’s okay.

If there’s one thing I hope families remember, it’s that healing doesn’t have to begin with the perfect words. Sometimes it begins with a story, a drawing, a shared memory, or simply knowing someone is there to listen.

And perhaps that’s one of the most meaningful gifts we can give a child who is grieving: the reassurance that their feelings matter, their memories are welcome, and they never have to navigate their loss alone. ❤️🦋

Questions Families Often Ask About Childhood Grief

How do children show grief after losing a grandparent?

Children may express grief through sadness, anger, irritability, withdrawal, changes in behaviour, or repeated questions about death. Some children appear happy one moment and become emotional the next. Every child grieves differently, and their reactions may change as they grow.

Why does a grieving child become angry with surviving grandparents?

Sometimes a surviving grandparent reminds a child of the grandparent they lost. Feelings of unfairness, sadness, and longing may become directed toward someone who is still present. This doesn’t necessarily mean the child doesn’t love that grandparent. Responding with patience, empathy, and healthy boundaries can help.

Can childhood grief look like ADHD or emotional regulation difficulties?

Grief can affect a child’s concentration, sleep, mood, and ability to manage emotions. Some of these changes may resemble symptoms associated with ADHD or other conditions. However, ADHD is a distinct neurodevelopmental condition, and a child can experience both ADHD and grief. A qualified professional can help assess the full picture, including developmental history, recent losses, and other life stressors.

Can children grieve divorce, bullying, or the loss of friendships?

Yes. Children may experience grief when important relationships, routines, or feelings of safety and belonging change. Divorce, separation, bullying, and friendship loss can bring sadness, anger, anxiety, or uncertainty, even when nobody has died. These experiences deserve compassion and attention.

How can I help a child who never got to say goodbye?

Give the child opportunities to talk about what happened, ask questions, and express their feelings. Writing letters, sharing memories, creating a memory box, or honouring their loved one through a family tradition may help them find meaningful ways to remember and express what they wish they could have said.

Should families continue talking about someone who has passed away?

Yes, when children feel comfortable doing so. Sharing stories, looking at photographs, and remembering special moments can help children maintain a meaningful connection to their loved one. Allow them to guide the conversation without pressure.

When should I seek professional support for my child?

If a child’s grief, anxiety, emotional distress, or behavioural changes are persistently interfering with sleep, school, relationships, or everyday activities, consider speaking with a qualified child mental health professional or grief counsellor.

From My Heart to Yours — Healing on the Wings of Hope 🦋

Grief is deeply personal, and no two people experience it the same way. As a mother and someone who has experienced loss, I understand how important it is to have a safe space to talk, feel, remember, and begin finding our way forward. My hope is that we continue creating more understanding around grief, especially for children whose pain may show up in unexpected ways.

We don’t always need to have the right words. Sometimes we simply need to listen, show compassion, and remind one another that feelings deserve to be acknowledged. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting the people we’ve lost or pretending that difficult experiences never happened. It means finding ways to carry our memories, understand our emotions, and reconnect with hope during life’s challenges.

Whether you’re navigating your own journey through grief, searching for clarity, or looking for spiritual and emotional support, I welcome you to explore the services I offer. For children experiencing significant emotional or behavioural difficulties, qualified child mental health professionals can provide specialized assessment and support alongside the care and understanding of their families.

Because even in our most difficult moments, there is room for connection, love, and hope.

With love and light,

Nancy Frustaci
Spiritual Counsellor & Life Coach
The Heart Behind Angel Blessing
Healing on the Wings of Hope 🦋

Website: https://angelblessings11.com
Email: angelblessings.11.22@gmail.com
Phone: 778-838-6222

Online and in person | Lower Mainland & Tri-Cities