Hello Beautiful Souls,
I have just pulled cards from the “Talking to Heaven” deck. The first card was “Do not be afraid”, second is “It was my time to go”, third ” Life is a series of choices, Choose love, and finally “I have become your guide”.
The focus of this reading and post is around fear: fear of death, fear of the unknown, fear of what life looks like after our loved ones are no longer in the physical realm.
I myself have lost many people close to me, including my father, grandparents, and friends. All of these losses hit me in different ways, triggering my awakening spirituality.
Some people have one big awakening brought on by certain events in their lives such as a death of a parent, partner, sibling, child, or near death experiences just to name a few. My awakening was a bit gentler in that it happened over the course of my young childhood into mid adulthood.
I sadly lost many people in a very short time. My first experience was with my preschool friend. She passed in a tragic accident. I still remember my parents talking to me about this at 4 years old. That, I feel, was the beginning. Then I had experienced some interesting events such as the prediction of finding someone in a lake, hearing my name being called out at my father’s house, and later on receiving signs from my friend at their funeral and seeing auras.
Growing up I was the one who would attend all the family funerals with my mom, giving her comfort and support, along with those of my relatives. When my Nonna (grandmother) was diagnosed with ALS, I knew I needed to take time and spend it with her, help her where I could, learn from her, be there in the moments she would have surgery, give back to her. After all, she had been there for me growing up, staying at hospital with me after my surgeries, and loving me.
I remember purchasing her a teddy bear, to hold close, to give her comfort. This down the road would be my little message of love, paying it forward to all those who were in need of comfort when they were sick. Every person I would visit I would bring a little stuffy. I didn’t know that I would also be giving my dad his very first and last teddy bear,
Of course, the most profound passing would be that of my father. While I was with him every step of the way, we had moments to chat and discussed signs and symbols, talked about our spiritual connection and how we are all able to pick up on messages. Seeing this man who was beyond his years and I didn’t get to have the privilege of understanding that until he was gone. Before he got sick or rather before my dad was diagnosed with his brain tumour, I would call him out of the blue and he would question me why I did that, and explain that it’s never by chance that you do what you do. I spent the night over at his house and told him about a profound visit/dream I had of my Nonna on my birthday. To this day, I can recall the dream and how it made me feel, and he would say that he wasn’t surprised and that I was “tuning my radio” to the frequency of the “other side”.
Once he passed it took me some time to receive any messages because I had to grieve, to process the physical loss of my dad, this man that I was only able to see on alternate weekends. I didn’t know then that I would be mourning all the moments I didn’t yet get to have like him seeing me graduate with a diploma in counselling ( he was big into psychology), walking me down the aisle when I got married, meeting his grandchildren, or just having him be there when needed to talk.
This took time and to this day I have moments where I am not ok, where I just long to hear my dad’s voice, and you know what? It’s in those moments that I get the signs I need: I will see his name on tv or some random place (his name is not common, so this is huge), I will hear a song that we would have listened to, or have a very powerful dream/visit of him.
I have learned thanks to many wonderful spiritual teachers, healers, mediums such as John Holland,Theresa Caputo, and some dear friends along with my counsellor and teachers from school that I could create a different kind of connection with those who have crossed over.
Not only was I faced with other people’s passing, but I myself was made aware of my own mortality from a very early age. It was something that was very present due to having a chronic illness that was not very common. I basically grew up in and out of the hospital, being poked, prodded, studied. I had numerous surgeries, and scary tests. Being inside and out of hospitals over such a long time gave me a deeper compassion and empathy for others, and an appreciation for life.
I can tell you that I was very scared of the concept of death and dying before my spiritual awakening, and even to this day I still have some anxiety around it because we are only human. Yet, I fear it less and less as I open up more to spirit, learn and develop myself on a mediumistic side which I believe is why I had experienced all of this to begin with.
Through these experiences, my desire to understand, learn and grow became stronger and stronger, and I began learning about reiki, angles, and spirit.
I relive all these moments and ask myself why was it that I was the one there for all of these things, what was I being led to even then as a child. Now as an adult I know, it is my purpose to help those who are grieving, channeling those who have crossed over and assisting those who are about to cross over.
Thank you for taking time to visit my blog, feel free to leave a comment, or question, I would love to hear from you. I will be back with another post shortly discussing how to recreate a connection to our loved ones once they have passed, along with some good resorces for dealing with grief.
If you are interested in a personal reading with me, you can send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org